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     From Our Articles Archive

A Few Secrets
About STRESS



Is something stressing you out?   A difficult person?  Money woes?  Too little time?  Pressure at work?  A partner who doesn't take out the garbage?  Politics?  To much on your plate?

We all talk about stress, but, what, exactly, do we mean by it?



The word stress comes

from the Latin word

strictus
 

which means constricted,
restricted, compressed

or constrained.


One way to think about stress is to think of it as squooshed, stifled and squelched energy.

Something happens.  Your mind reacts and then your body-energy becomes constricted and stops flowing.  The pushes, pulls, pokes and prods of those slings and arrows of outrageous fortune tie you up in mental, emotional, spiritual or physical knots. Metaphorically (or maybe even literally) you become bent out of shape. 


Stress, in and of itself, is neutral.   Neither a good thing nor a bad thing - it just is what it is.  In fact, it's a necessary component of being alive. 

Without push, pull, poke and pressure nothing bad would ever happen, but nothing good or sexy would happen either!

Without stress, you would have no motivation, no movement, no excitement and no sense of accomplishment.  In fact, you might never get up off the couch. The prodding of good stress is necessary to get you going.

________________________________


Stress becomes "bad" stress
either when it gets to

be too much,
or when it is
of the wrong sort.
 

  • Too much stress, and you feel beat up, burdened and burned out.

  • Stress of the wrong kind, especially in the emotional realm, usually involves criticism, guilt, shame, blame, anger, resentment, fear and anxiety.



If bad stress goes on for prolonged periods of time, you may develop physical problems like headaches, upset stomach, rashes, insomnia, ulcers, high blood pressure, heart disease, and stroke.

_____________________________

Having ...  Wanting ...
Needing

_____________________________



One kind of stress
comes from the longing
to close the gap
between what you HAVE
and what you
NEED or WANT.


Problems caused by the difference between what you have and what you need are straightforward and come under the heading of survival.

You need oxygen to breathe, if you run out of oxygen then you have a serious problem. The solution is clearly indicated: go get oxygen!

But, a problem may
also be caused by the difference
between what you BELIEVE you have,
and what you BELIEVE you need. 



There are some people who never believe they have what they need; Howard Hughes is a famous example of someone who never believed that he had enough, and so, he always wanted more.

Problems caused by the attempt to close the gap between what you believe you have, and what you believe you need can be particularly stress provoking because they may be based less on reality than on deep unconscious ideas.  Ideas which you may not even be aware of.  For example, a deep unconscious idea that unless you are a beauty queen you are ugly and worthless can keep you miserable and stressed out forever.

Beliefs about what you mistakenly believe that you need can be really brutal - and stress provoking. 

One of my clients, for instance, has a husband who tells her kids that they can't be OK unless they have millions in the bank. Therefore, they should only consider majoring in subjects that are on the millions-in-the-bank track. As you can imagine, this is creating stress for him (he thinks the kids needs millions in order to be ok), and it is creating stress for the kids, who would like to major in subjects that appeal to them, not subjects that are focused on earning megabucks. It is also creating stress for the mom, who believes that she can't be happy unless the husband and the kids are happy.

          _________________________

          Mend Your Mojotivity:

         Quick-Start
          STRESS REDUCTION
          _________________________


The kind of stress which is caused by having one thing and believing you need somethint else can be reduced by ...

  1. getting what you think you need
  2. changing what you think you need
  3. changing what you think you want
  4. changing how you feel about what you have

  • Number one has to do with taking positive action.   (You think you want to be more assertive?  So, take an assertiveness training class.)

  • Numbers two, three and four require making some inner changes:  altering beliefs (often buried beliefs), releasing emotions, and rebalancing the disruptions in your energy system.

__________________________________



Here are some ways that you can start reducing stress immediately, on your own:

  • Become aware of what stresses you out. Make a list of everything in your life that is causing stress. Be very specific. Go into detail.

  • Recognize what you can change and then, change it!   Be proactive. Take positive steps to alter stressful situations, and eliminate or reduce exposure to stressors. (Hate noise? Stay away from heavy metal concerts.)

  • Question your beliefs about what you think you need or want.  You may discover that the idea that "you've gotta have it" is more stressful than not having it.

  • Get a handle on your physical reactions to stress.   Learn meditation, tai chi, yoga or self-hypnosis.

  • Build up your physical reserves.
    Exercise, eat nutritious meals. Avoid nicotine, excessive caffeine, and other stimulants. Take breaks. Take vacations. Take naps. Get enough sleep.

  • Build up your emotional reserves.
    See your friends more often. Pursue meaningful goals. Treat yourself kindly. Let the beauty that you love be what you do. (Rumi)

  • Create a peaceful environment. Do your best to de clutter, and to surround yourself with beauty and objects from nature.

  • Lower the intensity of your emotional reactions to stress.   The practices in our Mojo Bag can help you to let go of fear, anxiety, rage, jealousy, sadness, grief, loneliness, longing and other unwanted emotions. These techniques can also help you to neutralize the energy static in your energy system.

_________________________________

There are many different ways to reduce stress, but one of the fastest and most powerful methods is EFT - the Emotional Freedom Technique.  EFT removes stress by releasing the disturbance that stress creates in your energy system.

EFT is a kind of emotional/spiritual feng shui.   It is acupuncture for your soul, but without the needles. Instead of needling, you just tap with the fingertips on body points while focusing on your problem, your pain or your stressful situation.

____________________________________


To find out more about
stress-reducing,
mojotivity-enhancing
practices,
click here.



To set up a time to chat
about how you can begin to
reduce the stress
in your life,

click here.



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_____________________


Dear Joan, 

Reading what you have
to say always deepens and strengthens my resolve,
and has helped me
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personal blocks...
let go of old baggage ...
and release fears that stopped me
from achieving my
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I want to thank you
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 for your generosity
and clarity.


Lilia Petrie,
Creative Arts Therapist,
Vancouver, British Columbia

________________

Joan,
Though we've never met,
I wanted to tell you
how much I enjoy
your newsletters.

Your writing style -- breezy, invitational, unpretentious,
and with a good dose
of humor, is refreshing.


  I just wanted you to know
that I am one of the silent,
appreciative audience
who enjoys your
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Andrea Mathieson
www.ravenessences.com
Canada

________________

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until you have something really helpful to share!
 
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as if my mojo is slipping.

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North Carolina

________________


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________________

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________________


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