As someone who helps people deal with food cravings and body image issues, I have met more than my share of women who looked like models - some actually were models - and who gave themselves grief about their so-called physical imperfections.

When this problem is extremely severe and debilitating, medical doctors and psychiatrists label it Body Dysmorphic Disorder.

Beyond BDD, there is a much less intense, less crippling version of negative body image which is nevertheless limiting and and disempowering.

I call it "The Looking Glass Lie," and most people I know (especially women) have at least a mild version of it.

If you're living the looking glass lie, you see yourself through a warped internal mirror and your body doesn't measure up.  You see yourself as unattractive, or even defective. Somehow, your true radiance is not being mirrored back to you.

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Molly, a former client of mine, lived the looking glass lie.  

One of the most uniquely striking women I had ever seen - with a mixed background including French, Scandinavian, Korean, African and Native American descendants - Molly had a slim, rounded figure, pale coffee-cream skin, shiny black hair, immense hazel eyes and a wide brilliant smile that lit up a room. If she ever smiled. Which was not often, because, with all her heart and soul, she believed that she was defective. And if I tried to convince her otherwise, she thought there was something wrong with me: I was either deranged or lying.

(I have since learned that you cannot debate the looking glass lie and expect to win!)

I have met few people who were not living some version of this looking glass lie. What about you?

Check yes or no:

1. I am worried about how I look.

     Yes _____ No ____

2. I dislike my body or some part of my body.

     Yes _____ No ____

3. I dislike my face or some part of my face.

     Yes _____ No ____

4. I think I am too short or too tall.

     Yes _____ No ____

5. I think I am too small boned or too big-boned.

     Yes _____ No ____

6. I frequently compare my looks with others,
or wish I looked like someone else.

     Yes _____ No ____

7. I have a "love/hate," "come here/go away" relationship with my mirror.

     Yes _____ No ____

8. I think I look too old.

     Yes _____ No ____

9. I could "be, do or have" what I wanted if I only had a better face or body.

     Yes _____ No ____

10. I would trade my face or body in for a newer version if I could.

     Yes _____ No ____

OK, how many yeses did you get?

Living The Looking Glass Lie is a waste of precious life energy and precious time - energy and time that could otherwise be spent creating love, art, prosperity, health, fitness, happiness, connection.  Living the looking glass lie lowers the vibrational level of every cell in your body. From a soul perspective, the looking glass lie contributes to debilitating soul loss.

       ___________________________

        Mend Your Mojotivity:
       Start Living Your Truth
       ___________________________

Ask yourself, "If my best friend in the world looked just like me, would I love him/her anyway?"   Your answer is probably yes.  If it's no, then there are some even more powerful negative beliefs at play.


One of my favorite techniques for challenging stressful thoughts and feelings is the Work of Byron Katie.  Her process involves a series of four simple questions and a turnaround. These questions help you to see your self-judging thoughts or what they are: stories about the past and about the future which you are telling yourself ... and which you can stop telling yourself.

Fortunately you can overcome the awful impact of the looking glass lie. By using the gently transformative techniques - like The Work of Byron Katie - that you'll find in our Mojo Bag, you can begin to take control of how you feel about your body ...

• by releasing unwanted feelings and beliefs,
  
  
• by questioning your stressful thoughts.
  
  

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To set up a time to chat
about how you can begin
to transform your
body image issues, 
click here.

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"Joan's work is like having an eraser that simply removes problems.

Once you work on a problem you can easily forget that it was a problem, because it's completely gone!"

Cathy Hedgecock,
journalist